Revelations

Revelation the first (and I needed to have this explained): Rejection of my writing is not the same as rejection of me as a person.


I've always felt that my writing = me, and vice versa, and that if people didn't want to read my writing, they were saying through action that they didn't give a good God damn about me as a person. After a long conversation with my friend Big Cat yesterday, I've come to accept that perhaps this is not the case. It's still hard to believe that when people have no interest in supporting my writing career, that doesn't mean that they have no interest in me as a human being. It'll take some time until I accept this to be true... if it ever happens.

Revelation the second: Knight of Sorrows is henceforth to be known as "Book Not Appearing on the Bookshelf," or B-Nab.

This is the most damnable project, and the one I've had the most damnable time with. I cannot seem to coax it into being. It's something I want to write, very much, but for some reason it's harder to do than pulling teeth by way of the left kidney. I have never had this much trouble with anything I've ever tried to write. In the words of Commodus in Gladiator, it vexes me. I'm very vexed.

As a result, B-Nab has been sent to the orphanage for a few more weeks/months/years. We'll see if it shows up again.

Revelation the third: Just because B-Nab is more or less dead to me, that doesn't mean that NaNoWriMo can't happen.

I haven't officially joined up, but it's sort of a personal goal to see if I can get something book-length written in one month. Big Cat indicated that I should focus on something other than B-Nab and vampires, because she doesn't think people want to read about vampires that aren't all teen-angst and sparkly, and because B-Nab is giving me fits. (I just had the mental image of Tristan in full armor rapping in a nightclub. Hee!) I think she's probably right. To that end, I am taking one of the stories in my short story collection, "Tell Me No Lies," and expanding it. We'll see where it goes and whether this can be my NaNoWriMo accomplishment.

And thus endeth this reading from Revelations.