Oy.

Crickets, if any of you write, have you ever had a character who just refuses to do as he or she is told? It will surprise none of you to know that my head is chock full of them.

Naturally, the biggest offender is Tobyn from the Clans books. Even the other characters in the book just gape at him from time to time. He's walking chaos, so I shouldn't be shocked that he gives me fits.

Then there are characters like Marvin from "Headhunter", one of my short stories, who moved into my head like a disease. He made his nasty little self all comfortable until I finally exorcised him with the final paragraph of the story. I couldn't get him to mitigate his horrible behavior, and I couldn't make him stop being such a creeper. By the time I finished the story, I desperately wanted to apply some Lysol to my braincase.

Other characters have similar issues: they do their own thing, or they intrude into my "waking hours" (non-writing time) to whisper plot points into my ears, or they take left turns at Albuquerque when I wasn't even aware we were on Earth. They're bothersome little creatures.

I expected better from a so-called "perfect knight," fine upstanding prince of the realm and all-around good egg like Tristan. I keep trying to get him to stay put and keep his date with destiny, but like a willful puppy, he just keeps gamboling off every which way. I can make it work, I can, but I really wonder how long this book of mine is going to end up being by the time he finally goes through his legend-assigned paces. It's already 10 chapters long, roughly 98 pages or so...and I have yet to get him to his first mark.

Now, dear Crickets, I know that I'm technically in charge here, being the keyboard-bearing, thumb-wearing primate with the words, but I think someone forgot to tell my cast of thousands that this writing thing goes a lot easier if they just behave. I hope Tristan gets the memo.

I have a nasty feeling that he won't.